


in fair kanto where we lay our scene

by cap_n_port (orphan_account)



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Romeo and Juliet, yes you read that correctly - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - (Mostly) Human, Alternate Universe - Everyone is an adult, Alternate Universe - Romeo and Juliet, F/M, M/M, OOC, Shakespeare, because i didnt originally write it as human, there are still references to trainers and pokeballs and battles and such
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 23:38:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13041918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cap_n_port
Summary: Literally just a rewriting of Romeo and Juliet with Pokémon. I started this half asleep, don't judge me.





	1. Prologue

_[Enter Chorus.]_  
Two households, both alike in dignity  
(In fair Kanto, where we lay our scene),  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes  
A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;  
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows  
Doth with their death bury their friends’ strife.  
The fearful passage of their death-marked love  
And the continuance of their friends’ rage,  
Which, but their Pokémon's end, naught could remove,  
Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage;  
The which, if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.  
 _[Chorus exits.]_


	2. Act One, Scene One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to be clear, some Pokémon are only there because of a lack of others. im so so sorry hawlucha, greninja  
> actually no, greninja was added in because of the Gre in the beginning of both Greninja and Gregory

Enter Hawlucha and Greninja, with swords and bucklers, of the house of Ketchum.  
HAWLUCHA  
Greninja, on my word we’ll not carry coals.  
GRENINJA  
No, for then we should be colliers.  
HAWLUCHA  
I mean, an we be in choler, we’ll draw.  
GRENINJA  
Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of  
collar.  
HAWLUCHA  
I strike quickly, being moved.  
GRENINJA  
But thou art not quickly moved to strike.  
HAWLUCHA  
A dog of the house of Rocket moves me.  
GRENINJA  
To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to  
stand. Therefore if thou art moved thou runn’st away.  
HAWLUCHA  
A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of Rocket's.  
GRENINJA  
That shows thee a weak Poké, for the weakest goes to the wall.  
HAWLUCHA  
’Tis true, and therefore women, being the  
weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall. Therefore I will push Rocket's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall.  
GRENINJA  
The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.  
HAWLUCHA  
'Tis all one. I will show myself a tyrant. When I have fought with the men, I will be civil with the maids; I will cut off their heads.  
GRENINJA  
The heads of the maids?  
HAWLUCHA  
Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads. Take it in what sense thou wilt.  
GRENINJA  
They must take it in sense that they feel it.  
HAWLUCHA  
Me they shall feel while I am able to stand, and ’tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.  
GRENINJA  
'Tis well thou art not Magikarp; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor-john. Stand thy ground. Here comes some of the house of Rockets.  
[i][Enter Arbok with another Servingman.][/i]  
HAWLUCHA  
My naked blade is out. Quarrel, I will back  
thee.  
GRENINJA  
[i][sarcastically][/i]  
How? Turn thy back and run?  
HAWLUCHA  
Fear me not.  
GRENINJA  
No, marry. I fear thee!  
HAWLUCHA  
Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.  
GRENINJA  
I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it  
as they list.  
HAWLUCHA  
Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at  
them, which is disgrace to them if they bear it.  
[i][He bites his thumb.][/i]  
ARBOK  
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?  
HAWLUCHA  
I do bite my thumb, sir.  
ARBOK  
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?  
HAWLUCHA  
[i][aside to Greninja][/i]  
Is the law on our side if I say “Ay”?  
GRENINJA  
[i][aside to Hawlucha][/i]  
No.  
HAWLUCHA  
No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir.  
GRENINJA  
Do you quarrel, sir?  
ARBOK  
Quarrel, sir? No, sir.  
HAWLUCHA  
But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a human as you.  
ARBOK  
No better.  
HAWLUCHA  
Well, sir.  
[i][Enter Wobbuffet.][/i]  
GRENINJA  
[i][aside to Hawlucha][/i]  
Say “better”; here comes  
one of their master’s friends.  
HAWLUCHA  
Yes, better, sir.  
ARBOK  
You lie.  
HAWLUCHA  
Battle if you be Pokés.—Greninja, remember thy washing blow.  
[i][They fight.][/i]  
WOBBUFFET  
Part, fools!  
[i][Drawing his sword.][/i]  
Put up your swords. You know not what you do.  
[i][Enter Chikorita, her sword drawn.][/i]  
CHIKORITA  
What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?  
Turn thee, Wobbuffet; look upon thy death.  
WOBBUFFET  
I do but keep the peace. Relax thy anger, Or manage it to part these men with me.  
CHIKORITA  
What, drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word.  
As I hate hell, all Rockets, and thee.  
Have at thee, coward!  
[i][They fight.]  
[Enter three or four Citizens with clubs or partisans.][/i]  
CITIZENS  
Clubs, bills, and partisans! Strike! Beat them down!  
Down with the Ketchums! Down with the Rockets!  
[i][Enter Ash, and Serena.][/i]  
ASH  
What noise is this? Get ready for a battle, ho!  
SERENA  
A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a battle?  
[i][Enter James and Jessie.][/i]  
ASH  
A battle, I say. Team Rocket has come And is ready for battle in spite of me.  
JAMES  
Thou twerp Ketchum!—Hold me not; let me go.  
JESSIE  
Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe.  
[i][Enter Jenny.][/i]  
JENNY  
Rebellious citizens, enemies to peace,  
Profaners of this neighbor-stainèd steel—  
Will they not hear?—What ho! You men, you beasts,  
That quench the fire of your pernicious rage  
With purple fountains issuing from your veins:  
On pain of torture, from those bloody hands  
Throw your mistempered weapons to the ground,  
And hear the sentence of your movèd officer.  
Three civil brawls bred of an airy word  
By thee, Ketchum, and Rocket,  
Have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets  
And made Kanto's ancient citizens  
Cast by their grave-beseeming ornaments  
To wield old partisans in hands as old,  
Cankered with peace, to part your cankered hate.  
If ever you disturb our streets again,  
Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.  
For this time all the rest depart away.  
You, Ketchum, shall go along with me,  
And, Rocket, come you this afternoon  
To know our farther pleasure in this case,  
To old Pallet-town, our common judgment-place.  
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.  
[i][All but James, Jessie,  
and Wobbuffet exit.][/i]  
JAMES  
[i][to Wobbuffet][/i]  
Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach? Speak, Wobbuffet, were you by when it began?  
WOBBUFFET  
Here were the servants of your adversary,  
And yours, close fighting ere I did approach. I drew to part them. In the instant came, The fiery Chikorita prepared for battle, Which, as she breathed defiance to my ears,  
She swung her swird about her head and cut the winds, Who, nothing hurt withal, hissed her in scorn. While we were interchanging blows Came more and more and fought on part and part, Till Jenny came, who parted either part.  
JESSIE  
O, where is Meowth? Saw you him today?  
Right glad I am he was not at this fray.  
WOBBUFFET  
Master, an hour before the worshiped sun  
Peered forth the golden window of the east,  
A troubled mind  
drove me to walk abroad,  
Where underneath the grove of sycamore  
That westward rooteth from this city side,  
So early walking did I see him.  
Towards him I made, but he was ’ware of me  
And stole into the covert of the wood.  
I, measuring his affections by my own  
(Which then most sought where most might not be  
found,  
Being one too many by my weary self),  
Pursued my humor, not pursuing his,  
And gladly shunned who gladly fled from me.  
JAMES  
Many a morning hath he there been seen,  
With tears augmenting the fresh morning’s dew,  
Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs.  
But all so soon as the all-cheering sun  
Should in the farthest east begin to draw  
The shady curtains from Aurora’s bed,  
Away from light and into home steals he  
And private in his chamber pens himself,  
Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out,  
And makes himself an artificial night.  
Black and portentous must this humor prove,  
Unless good counsel may the cause remove.  
WOBBUFFET  
You care? My noble friend, do you know the cause?  
JAMES  
I neither know it nor can learn of him.  
WOBBUFFET  
Have you importuned him by any means?  
WOBBUFFET  
Both by myself and many other friends.  
But he, his  
own affections’ counselor,  
Is to himself—I will not say how true,  
But to himself so secret and so close,  
So far from sounding and discovery,  
As is the bud bit with an envious worm  
Ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air  
Or dedicate his beauty to the same.  
Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow,  
We would as willingly give cure as know.  
[i][Enter Meowth.][/i]  
WOBBUFFET  
See where he comes. So please you, step aside.  
I’ll know his grievance or be much denied.  
JAMES  
I would thou wert so happy by thy stay  
To hear true shrift.—Come, Jess, let’s away.  
[i][James and Jessie exit.][/i]  
WOBBUFFET  
Good morrow, friend.  
MEOWTH  
Is da day so young?  
WOBBUFFET  
But new struck nine.  
MEOWTH  
Ay me, sad hours seem long.  
Was dat Jimmy dat went hence so fast?  
WOBBUFFET  
It was. What sadness lengthens your hours?  
MEOWTH  
Not havin' dat which, havin', makes dem short.  
WOBBUFFET  
In love?  
MEOWTH  
Out—  
WOBBUFFET  
Of love?  
MEOWTH  
Out o' her favah where I am in love.  
WOBBUFFET  
Alas that love, so gentle in his view,  
Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!  
MEOWTH  
Alas dat love, whose view is muffled still,  
Should wit'out eyes see pathways to his will!  
Where shall we dine?—O me! What fray was here?  
Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.  
Here’s much to do wit' hate, but more wit' love.  
Why den, O brawlin' love, O lovin' hate,  
O anyt'in' of not'in' foist create!  
O heavy lightness, serious vanity,  
Misshapen chaos o' well-seemin' foims,  
Feadah o' lead, bright smoke, cold fiah, sick health,  
Still-wakin' sleep dat is not what it is!  
Dis love feel I, that feel no love in dis.  
Dost dou not laugh?  
WOBBUFFET  
No, coz, I rather weep.  
MEOWTH  
Good heart, at what?  
WOBBUFFET  
At thy good heart’s oppression.  
MEOWTH  
Why, such is love’s transgression.  
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,  
Which dou wilt propagate ta have it pressed  
Wit' more of dine. Dis love dat dou hast shown  
Doth add more grief ta too much o' mine own.  
Love is a smoke made wit' da fume o' sighs;  
Bein' poiged, a fiah sparklin' in lovers’ eyes;  
Bein' vexed, a sea nourished wit' lovin' tears.  
What is it else? A madness most discreet,  
A chokin' gall, an' a presoivin' sweet.  
Farewell, my friend.  
WOBBUFFET  
Soft, I will go along.  
An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.  
MEOWTH  
Tut, I have lost myself. I am not here.  
Dis is not Meowth. He’s some oddah where.  
WOBBUFFET  
Tell me in sadness, who is that you love?  
MEOWTH  
What, shall I groan and tell dee?  
WOBBUFFET  
Groan? Why, no. But sadly tell me who.  
MEOWTH  
A sick Poké in sadness makes his will—  
A woid ill oiged to one dat is so ill.  
In sadness, Wobby, I do love a woman.  
WOBBUFFET  
I aimed so near when I supposed you loved.  
MEOWTH  
A right good markman! And she’s fair I love.  
WOBBUFFET  
A right fair mark, fair cat, is soonest hit.  
MEOWTH  
Well in dat hit you miss. She’ll not be hit  
Wit' love's arrow. She hath Uxie's wit,  
An', in strong proof o' chastity well oimed,  
From love’s weak childish bow she lives unchoimed.  
She will not stay da siege o' lovin' toims,  
Nor bide da encountah o' assailin' eyes,  
Nor open her lap ta saint-seducin' gold.  
O, she is rich in beauty, only poor  
Dat, when she dies, wit' beauty dies her store.  
WOBBUFFET  
Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?  
MEOWTH  
She hath, and in dat sparin' makes huge waste;  
For beauty, starved wit' her severity,  
Cuts beauty off from all posterity.  
She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,  
To merit bliss by makin' me despair.  
She hath forsworn ta love, and in dat vow  
Do I live dead, dat live ta tell it now.  
WOBBUFFET  
Be ruled by me. Forget to think of her.  
MEOWTH  
O, teach me how I should forget ta think!  
WOBBUFFET  
By giving liberty unto thine eyes.  
Examine other beauties.  
MEOWTH  
’Tis da way  
Ta call hers, exquisite, in question more.  
Dese happy masks dat kiss fair ladies’ brows,  
Bein' black, puts us in mind dey hide da fair.  
He dat is strucken blind cannot foiget  
Da precious treasure o' his eyesight lost.  
Show me a mistress dat is passin' fair;  
What doth her beauty soive but as a note  
Where I may read who passed dat passing fair?  
Farewell. Dou canst not teach me ta foiget.  
WOBBUFFET  
I’ll pay that doctrine or else die in debt.  
[i][They exit.][/i]


	3. im qutting this

okay so i wrote this half alseeep but looking back i quit bc it kinda sucks


End file.
